Library shelves with lightbulbs which cast a warm light.

Just call me Ash

Thoughts on mental health, neurodiversity, polyamory and kink

I no longer feel like I’m constantly failing

Blog
A tree log surrounded by lots of green plants on a bright day.

I had a free Saturday today, after a fun but busy munch last night. So, since I didn’t have any specific plans, and I didn’t feel like doing anything too mentally taxing, I decided to go for a hike.

2 min read

The Toxic Phrase

Blog
Hands holding a cup of tea.

I promised I’d share some of the things I’ve learned during therapy, so here goes. All the usual disclaimers apply: I’m not a psychologist, so feel free to correct me if I’m explaining this wrong.

2 min read

The benefit of the doubt

Blog
A screwdriver on a wooden surface.

I got a comment today that hit me pretty hard emotionally. By the phrasing it used it felt to me like I was being accused of acting in bad faith.

3 min read

The joy of Stuffies

Blog

It’s been a few weeks since I “graduated” my first series of therapy sessions. I’ll probably be going back later, but for now I’ll try to apply what I have learned.

2 min read

Dealing with my internalised classism.

Blog

A while ago I was called out in the comments on one of my writings about a classist comment I made. I took a few minutes to process before responding and had to admit that the commenter was in fact completely right. I had (and still have) a ton of internalised classism.

8 min read

Some resources about transphobia and ‘social contagion’

Blog

Not too long ago a mainstream newspaper in the Netherlands (Volkskrant) did some reporting about de-transitioning and the change in who was looking for gender-affirming treatment. It talked about how originally the majority had been AMAB and now the number of AFAB persons had risen. It also raised concerns about the mental health of these people.

1 min read

Punching Up versus Punching Down

Blog

So. Have you ever listened to a Black comedian say pretty insulting stuff about white people and thought: “How is this OK? If a white guy said the same things about black people there would be hell to pay!”

5 min read

The fear of not being exceptional

Blog

So, another entry in our long-running series “Things that scare Ash”. I’ll probably be writing a bunch more of them, feel free to skip.

3 min read

Dropping the masks

Blog

Note: this is a bit long and rambling, just a bunch of thoughts I’ve been having.

3 min read