What drew me to D/s? Fear of rejection

One of the aspects of ADHD I wish I had known about earlier is Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria, or RSD for short. Basically it means that rejection hits us like a ton of bricks, and in my case can trigger major anxiety.

My experiences getting a vasectomy

A few days ago there was talk about vasectomies again on my timeline, partially because of recent developments on US abortion law. I mentioned that I had meant to write about my experiences, so here goes.

Be Brave

In my list of recent insights, I included “Be Brave”. This one has special meaning to me.

Things I wished I knew a decade ago

I’m feeling a bit under the weather with the flu, and with my body unable to do much my mind set to wandering. It revisited a question a friend asked me recently:

I don’t love any men

So yeah, showerthoughts they call it. That moment when you just let your brain run where it will and a realisation hits you like a ton of bricks.

The Dark Side of Daddy

It took me years to come to terms with the word “Daddy”. It felt weird and incestuous to me, and for a long time I described myself as a nurturing dominant instead.

Toxic stoicism

On my Fetlife timeline today there was a post by a woman asking for help with a troublesome new partner of her ex.


I’m struggling again.

I don’t get to opt out

A little while ago I was on a very lovely first date with some really nice conversation (some really lovely messing around too, but that’s a story for another day!). During the conversation I said something along the lines of “Pretty much all my friends are queer, and I’m the odd hetero out. Some times I wish I could just become honorary queer and distance myself from all the toxic BS going on with lots of cishet men.”

The Joy of (n)orgasms

This writing has been brewing in my head for 2 days now but it hasn’t really solidified yet. I’ve decided to write it anyway, so apologies if it seems to ramble or not go anywhere.

Full Disclosure

We have had this rule, ever since we started. It was mostly a result of both of us dealing with exes who would mangle the truth, hide things or flat-out lie. The rule is very simple: say what is on your mind. Or as we like to more aptly call it:

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The kitten and the Cock: A love story

She traces kisses down my chest and abdomen while she looks into my eyes and smiles at me. I shiver in anticipation, knowing what’s coming, how good her mouth and tongue feel.

That first load

It’s been 4 days since my vasectomy, so it’s also been 4 days since I have cum. I’m not used to that, I hardly ever go more than 2 days without orgasming.

Her scent

Her scent is intoxicating to me. I breathe it in deeply on that first hug, as she whispers in my ear “I’ve missed you daddy”. I want to tell her that I’ve missed her too, that the week was long and I’ve missed the way her skin feels under my touch. I want to say that I love her and that I’m happy to be together again.

The Chair

How did you get here? The date started off fairly normally… Meeting for coffee, laughs, some drinks. When did it take this dark turn?

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Aboard the USS Ashford…

I’d like to take you along with me with what goes on in my head on a typical morning run.

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Terminologie: cisgender en neurotypisch (Dutch)

Ik zie best veel posts langs komen de afgelopen tijd over termen als cisgender waarbij ook mensen die ik normaal gesproken best hoog heb zitten zich afvragen waar al die terminologie over gaat en waar het voor nodig is.

On Shaming

So, there has been a lot of talk going on again on fat/fit shaming… time for me to break out my favourite technique: the analogy.

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Pumped up kicks

“All the other kids with the pumped up kicks… Better run better run, outrun my bullets.”

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