Library shelves with lightbulbs which cast a warm light.

Just call me Ash

Thoughts on mental health, neurodiversity, polyamory and kink

I should have stayed dead

Fiction

I understand why she did it. I cannot blame her, she acted out of love. But what she did to me was unforgivable. She condemned me to this fate, and I don’t know how much longer I can hold on.

1 min read

Close Your Eyes

Fiction

I sat there, in the waiting room, biting my nails. I hadn’t done that since I was little, but the nerves were getting to me. This deeply alien feeling of being disconnected. A fucking Ludd, except involuntary.

6 min read

Lucy in a kitten wig

Blog
A cat wearing a lion wig

My kitten and I had a huge argument today. Except: it wasn’t actually her, it was my brain weasel Lucy, disguised as her – and the whole thing happened inside my head.

2 min read

The Long Dark

Blog
A beach after sundown

It’s this time of year again, where it feels like it simply doesn’t get light at all. If I don’t set an alarm, I find myself sleeping 10 hours a night, and even then, I move around in a fog.

2 min read

Happy Boxing Day!

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Wrapped gifts and candy

Or, as we call it in the Netherlands, the second day of Christmas. Over here it’s often the day you spend with family that lost out on Christmas Day, settling in for a second big dinner, while still groaning from all you at the night before.

1 min read

The Bodycount Riddle

Blog
A stone statue of a Sphinx

Slowly you approach the Sphinx. It was a long journey, but the famed treasure is almost yours. All you need to do now, is answer the riddle.

2 min read

The Art of Doing Nothing

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Someone laying in the grass, looking up at the sky.

As some of you may know, I’m a pretty devoted Bullet Journal user. It’s one of the few ADHD methods that really works for me, and I’ve been consistently using a Bullet Journal for close to 4 years now. That’s longer than pretty much any habit I’ve formed, except for morning coffee.

5 min read

Book talk: the day after Halloween

Blog
A person wearing grey socks, with a book and a pumpkin

I’d told myself that I’d give my book a fair shot by marketing it until Halloween. After that, I’d take a break. It’s been 2 months since I released the book, time to look back and reflect a bit.

5 min read